If you have teenagers, you’ve probably experienced your share of emotional extremes and erratic behavior often exhibited during this age. There’s a reason. Their social environment, as well as the physical changes in the body and brain, combine to make adolescence a very challenging time for teens, notes Daniel Gih, MD, Nebraska Medicine child and adolescent psychiatrist.

Kids’ brains are constantly changing and responding to stimuli. Physical changes begin in adolescence and go on until about the age of 25. That’s when many think the brain fully matures. The brain is being pruned. “It is trimming off extra neuron connections that aren’t needed and making other connections more efficient,” says Dr. Gih. “This pruning is extremely important. Conditions like schizophrenia and autism may be the result of a relative lack of pruning.”

How the brain works also changes. When learning new skills, the brain is most pliable before puberty. Introduce your child to new skills and hobbies during childhood when the brain is more receptive to learning new thing, suggests Dr. Gih. Skills like learning a new language seem to be easier during childhood than adulthood.

“During the early pre-teen years, the brain also becomes capable of more abstract thought, which can produce more complex emotions,” says Dr. Gih. Your teen becomes more aware of their surroundings, appearance, likes and dislikes, and how their peers may perceive them, he explains. As teens seek more independence, they may try to separate themselves from their parents by shifting their attention to friends and by expressing their opinions. Handling these sophisticated emotions requires advanced neurological development, which is not yet completely developed in a teen.

The frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for things like planning, sequencing and consequences, is the last part of the brain to develop and isn’t completed until about age 25, Dr. Gih says. It is one of the reasons why teens may not always make the best decisions. 

“But making mistakes is part of the learning process,” says Dr. Gih. “Acknowledging new emotions and stimulating the brain with new experiences help kids learn how to handle them more appropriately.” 

Teens are also going through puberty at this time, which also impacts their cognitive and emotional development. “We start to see psychiatric conditions like anxiety and depression increase in early teens,” says Dr. Gih, “which we believe may be tied to increased estrogen production. Young girls, who have a higher incidence of depression, have larger increases in estrogen compared to boys.”

Social media is another challenge that has unknown consequences. “While social media can help teens stay connected, it can also lead to social isolation and cause them to miss out on real-life experiences if they are online too much,” notes Dr. Gih. “Teens can also be bullied and exploited online at any time, and they may not have adequate coping skills and life experience to deal with these challenges.”

A recent observational study published in JAMA Pediatrics examined whether children’s time spent on smartphones and tablets is associated with temper tantrums. A two-week reduction in screen time led to fewer behavior issues and more social behaviors, says Dr. Gih. This may support efforts to do a “digital detox” for some families.

To provide the best environment for your child’s healthy brain development, Dr. Gih recommends the following: 

• Daily physical activity.
• Healthy diet.
• Adequate sleep.
• Healthy social connections to others through involvement in sports, clubs, religious groups, extracurricular activities, etc. 
• Strong family support (regular check-ins and family meals).
• Limitations on phones and social media use.

How should a parent respond to their teens when their emotions may seem excessive for the situation?  “Don’t dismiss them,” says Dr. Gih. “Acknowledge their fears and concerns and provide positive guidance and role modeling. Give your teen some latitude and allow yourself some grace and patience. Seek help from a mental health professional if needed.”