Written by Ashley Severson

Ten months into the pandemic, I asked Google, "Are we the only ones still social distancing?"

I arranged to take my university students to China in May 2020, so I was monitoring the virus's behavior early on. In January 2020, amidst growing reports of viral spread, I learned that at 38 years old, I was pregnant. The following month, the class trip moved to Germany. By March 2020, it was canceled.

My husband planned to attend our prenatal appointments, but soon COVID-19 cases in the U.S. were rising, and only patients were allowed at appointments.* He supportively drove me each time and waited in the car. I cried the morning I first saw my daughter through the ultrasound and heard her heartbeat. My husband watched over FaceTime from the hospital parking lot. It was challenging and special.

The summer was spent taking daily walks and preparing our home. My sisters threw us a drive-by shower. In the beginning, family Zoom calls were frequent, and I enjoyed sharing my growing belly. As the weather warmed and people grew weary of restrictions, the calls ended. Without assurances about how the virus affected pregnancy, we stayed home. I watched as lives resumed through my Instagram window. 

We almost traveled in August after a baby gift sent from my mother-in-law left me sobbing. I missed my husband's out-of-state family. Although they often called for updates, we hadn't seen them since the previous Christmas, and now his dad had been sick for several weeks. We'll go this weekend, we declared. But by Friday, our emotions leveled, and we reevaluated our decision. I was eight months pregnant, and in addition to coronavirus travel risks, we could potentially expose his vulnerable parents. So we stayed home. 

We stayed home for Thanksgiving, too and through the winter holidays. I missed my sister's wedding and my grandma's funeral. Nothing about this has been easy. 

Aside from my husband and me, only caregivers at Nebraska Medicine have held our daughter. My Omaha family met her through our back porch sliding doors. We cracked the right screen for conversation and held our newborn behind the left. 

Porch visits are not a hit in the freezing weather. Who wants to stand shivering in the cold to view a baby you cannot smell, hold, touch or hear? Driving on winter roads so others can see her through the car window is equally uninviting. 

As first-time parents, it has been exhausting and exhilarating. There have been no meal trains, no visitors to hold her for an hour while we get precious sleep, no extra hands to do the dishes or tidy our house. It's been my husband, our baby, and me. Yet, our united vote to stay home and mask up has fortified our relationship. I'm grateful to spend the hours with our healthy and ever-changing baby girl. 

Of all our parenting decisions so far, I am proudest of my husband's and my stance to protect our baby through strict social distancing. To internet searchers like me: You're not alone. We're here, too. We got this.

*Our visitor policy now allows one authorized visitor for obstetrics and gynecology outpatient clinic appointments. See our updated visitor policy.