Ejaculation and orgasm are distinct yet simultaneous events that occur during sexual activity. Accordingly, different men’s health issues affect ejaculation and orgasm, respectively. Two of the most common problems regarding ejaculation, specifically, are premature and delayed ejaculation. 

What is delayed ejaculation?

The average ejaculation latency time – or the average time it takes men to ejaculate – is approximately five to six minutes after penetration. So, men who ejaculate before this period may be experiencing premature ejaculation. On the other hand, those experiencing longer ejaculation time may be experiencing delayed ejaculation. “Usually, a delay is around 15 to 20 minutes or above,” says urologist Chris Deibert, MD. 

Still, delayed ejaculation is only a problem if it’s negatively affecting your relationship. “If you and your partner are frustrated, it’s tiresome, and sex isn’t fun anymore, you should seek treatment,” says Dr. Deibert. “If sex lasts 25 minutes or longer, and both people in the relationship are more than happy, then there’s no problem.”

Types of delayed ejaculation

Providers divide delayed ejaculation into four distinct categories based on your symptoms: lifelong versus acquired and generalized versus situational. Lifelong delayed ejaculation means the issue has been present from the time of your sexual maturity. Conversely, acquired delayed ejaculation occurs after a period of typical sexual functioning. 

Generalized delayed ejaculation means your delay isn’t limited to certain sex partners or kinds of arousal. In contrast, situational delayed ejaculation happens only under specific conditions. Regardless of which type of delayed ejaculation you’re experiencing, Dr. Deibert – and Nebraska Medicine – treats them all. “However, I see more men with the acquired or generalized-acquired delay,” says Dr. Deibert. 

Note, regardless of the type of delayed ejaculation you’re experiencing, it’s important to understand there’s a little bit of a natural delay that occurs with aging. “It’s not uncommon for guys between 60 to 80 years old to take a lot longer – or not be able to ejaculate or orgasm at all,” says Dr. Deibert. 

Addressing delayed ejaculation

According to Dr. Deibert, a natural delay as you age isn’t necessarily any pathological or dangerous development. “Typically, we’re applying the diagnosis of delayed ejaculation to younger men, below the age of 50,” says Dr. Deibert. “You can certainly see it in older men, but it’s more normalized as guys get into their 70s and 80s.”

One aspect Dr. Deibert looks for in patients who come to him for delayed ejaculation is erection quality. “If your erection quality is poor, then it’s going to take a lot more time or effort to get to the point of orgasm and ejaculation,” says Dr. Deibert. “So, if you have erectile dysfunction, it’s not a direct factor for delayed ejaculation, but we certainly want to ensure you have as good a quality erection as possible before we say it’s a delay.”

While there are medications to treat delayed ejaculation, each one is off-label – when you take an FDA-approved drug for an unapproved use. “Because these uses are all off-label, patients must understand what an approved function for a medication is versus an off-label function,” says Dr. Deibert.

Another treatment for delayed ejaculation, especially if it’s a new issue (acquired), is going to a certified sex therapist. “Sometimes it’s something within the relationship – what they’re doing sexually – that’s contributing to it,” says Dr. Deibert. “Working with a certified sex therapist can give you more options or ideas about how to manage the issue with your partner.”

Modifying sex positions can also be helpful to address delayed ejaculation. Finally, checking and normalizing testosterone can also help with delayed ejaculation. “We want to make sure you’re having good erection quality and have normal testosterone levels,” says Dr. Deibert.

Treating delayed ejaculation

While there’s a general guideline, it’s vital to know there’s no strict definition or timing regarding delayed ejaculation. “It’s really about whether it causes personal distress or not and whether it’s a change or it’s been a lifelong issue,” says Dr. Deibert.